A lot of little girls in our circle are getting really long "booty braids" (which mean they go down to your "booty"). I see J admiring the braids and listening to the girls talk about getting their braids and she seems to be feeling a little envious. Last night she found and old can of Oil Sheen and wanted me to spray her hair with it because that's what the other girls spray on their hair. I told her "NO" because there are chemicals that could damage her hair but she seemed disappointed.
The girls around our neighborhood all have that same look, and most of the girls I have seen at her school have been relaxed. I know she already feels a little different being biracial, then add being natural and I can see that she feels she doesn't always fit in and wants to be more like the other girl.
I sometimes wish we lived in an area where the were some natural hair shows and get-togethers where J could see the beauty of natural hair. Maybe have all the natural girls meet once a week and talk about hair, beauty, being natural.....like the Natural Girl Scouts! lol HMMM maybe it would be a cool idea?!
Anyway right now I just keep reminding her of her beauty, inside and out. I really need to get back into trying more new styles.....
Have you or your children felt pressures to relax? What about comments from extended family?
awww, my heart goes out to her!
ReplyDeleteDiva hasn't felt any pressure to relax. I know when she was younger and I was just begining to learn how to care for her hair I wanted a relaxer for her. I thought it would be easier. Luckily my husband wouldn't hear of it. At the time I didn't know all the damage relaxers cause. I even tried the Just For Me Texturizer, it said it was all natural, wow was that WRONG.
She has never mentioned wanting to have straight hair, she sometimes mentions "silky" hair, but loves her curls and doesn't want them gone permanently.
Luckily, we live in a very diverse area. And many of the African American women we have around us are natural or are transitioning. So, she has many role models to look up to that inspire her to stay natural and be proud of her hair the way it is.
One thing that I think definately helps is that we have complete strangers come up to her constantly and tell her how amazing her hair is and that they wish their hair was like that too. This happened just the other day at the bank. I let her stay in the doorway while I pulled the car around because it was raining and her hair was down and out (with Kinky Curly). In the short time it took for me to pull the van around a lady and her daughter started a conversation with her about her hair and how wonderful it was and how she took care of it. These kinds of comments (from people more than just family) really help to build the self esteem that it's OK to be different from everyone else.